The Language of Love

There are so many ways in which Steve and I are on the extreme opposite ends of the spectrum. One of those many ways is in our language of love.

I interpret how much anyone loves me by them spending time with me, time thinking of me, time telling me nice things - basically TIME!  And the other way is WORDS - I thrive on recognition, encouragement, noticing, validation - all to do with words.

Steve on the other hand is all about SERVICE - doing nice things, going the extra mile, making things, doing chores - basically anything that requires acts of service.

In our marriage it has been rocky to try and learn each other's love language and then be willing to recognize them and accept them and then to doing something about it.

I would tend to feel insecure about the way he feels about me because he doesn't tell me how nice I look, or how much he loves, or why he loves me or............or........

He would get irritated because I wouldn't make him dinner, or mow the yard, or take out the garbage or notice when he's had a hard day and do something nice for him.

So you can see the hamster wheel begin to turn and for a number of years - it was not pretty.

We have learned to communicate, to listen, and to be loving enough to go out of our comfort zones to learn how to communicate love in the language of the other. It's very freeing to lay down my right to my way of love and do what isn't natural for me. And then it's really fun to realize that when I do that - I then am blessed by the way he lays down his rights and communicates love to me in my way.

I am also recognizing being the recipient of the blessing of Steve's love language is really cool.  I try to not take advantage of it.

But here is a tangible way in which he expresses his love for me.

I wanted a work bench and space to do my hobbies in the garage and today, his day off work - this is what he did for me.  I then showered him with praise and words of gratitude and he told me to stop gushing....hahaha  So we're learning how to accept and admire and receive each other's languages of love.