This evening as I sit here - I have lots of things going through my head. I am exhausted and not quite sure why I'm so exhausted. I have so many things that are occupying my mind and yet right now my hands are empty and needing something to do. So instead of feeding my face when I get bored - here I am typing.
I am missing my kids. I am missing being able to hold and snuggle my new grandson. I am missing the energetic, lovable and oh so adorable 2 1/2 year old grandson. I am missing him holding my hand. I am missing hearing him say "Gma". Videos are great and Skype is fantastic but it's just not the same as physically being with them.
Looking at the very real possibility of putting this house on the market. This house that we have been in since 2004. This house holds so many life changes, so many memories, so much laughter and a whole lot of tears, lots of friends around the fire pit, my dog Zac driving me crazy, giving all 3 of our daughters away to our sons in law, acquiring 2 grandsons. Another chapter in our lives is quickly coming to a close. Downsizing our lives, downsizing our possessions - means I have to go through so much stuff that has been accumulated. Leaving behind all these memories. I am ready to move on because I know it's needed and I need/want to downsize but the emotional side of things leaves me rather exhausted just thinking about all of it.
I am so very tired of spending almost a month fighting this convection oven thing at work. The mental and emotional and even physical exhaustion just from having to fight for our rights with this company. I am so very tired of it all. It is so close to the finish line and I can see it up ahead but I also fear that there could be a trap that I don't see. I am tired of feeling like I've been the idiot who didn't check out all the details, ask the right questions. I am also tired of NOT having enough money to deal with this problem effectively. I am so very tired of NOT having the right personnel to deal with this situation effectively. I am so out of my league and I feel helpless and like a raft out in the depths of the white water with these huge boulders that I keep banging up against. I feel like at any moment I'm going to capsize. I am so tired of feeling so angry and out of sorts. It sets me off so quickly and I don't like that. When I feel that things are out of my control - I tend to get angry and defensive and I do NOT like being backed into a corner. I do NOT like to feel that I'm left out in the middle of the ocean with no way to get back to shore. We don't have the money to fix it (it's not worth any money to fix) and now we don't have the money to get another one.
I cling to the Rock that never changes. I cling to My Defender, My Hero, My Savior, My Redeemer. I cling to the One Who Holds me in the palm of His Hands. I cling to Him Who beckons all of His Heavenly Army to go to war on my behalf. I KNOW He has my back. I KNOW He will come through. I KNOW He will make a way where there seems to be no way. When the Red Sea is before me, high cliffs on either side and the enemy at my back - He reveals His Saving Power. He reveals the way through. When all around me is shifting sand and shadows - He is My Rock, My Foundation. He will hide me in the cleft of the Rock till the storm passes by. He will make my feet like the feet of a deer to be able to climb to the heights of the Kingdom of Love.
I will not quit, I will not give in. If I don't quit I win!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Monday, March 27, 2017
Change - New Word for a New Season
CHANGE - the meaning of this word can be from "laying aside, abandoning, transformation, passing from one phase to another; to as trivial as changing of one's clothes or purchase or moving of furniture".
Change can be fun, adventurous, bring a breath of fresh air.
Change can be forming a different opinion, a change of lifestyle, a season in life.
Throughout our day - there can be many changes. We change our position when we leave our house to go to work. Those changes are routine and part of our day. We change clothes at lease once a day, sometimes several times in a day.
Throughout our 32 years of marriage - we have changed places of residences about every 3 years. We even changed our residence to a different country a couple of times. This place that we live in now, we have been here since 2004 - that is a change of lifestyle for us. We have not put down roots in any one place for very long until this house. Every few years, I get restless and antsy. Steve gets frustrated with me sometimes because of it. So, I move the furniture around. I go to thrift stores and find something I like and bring it home. I clean out a closet or a room and downsize my stuff. That settles me for a little while. I get tired of same old, same old. I relish change. I relish the new.
We have purchased houses and remodeled them and turned around and sold them. We have built our own house (which was our favorite place). Each time, we moved - it was for a lifestyle change. We either went on the mission field or went into ministry with the church or moved from the city to the country or finished remodeling and needed another project.
In 2004, we moved back here after 3 years of being in India. We moved to this house because we wanted to be in town - we were used to being in a city of 15 million people and couldn't see us being in the country, it felt too isolating. Plus in this neighborhood - were close friends. We walked into this house and immediately fell in love. It has an open stairway and all the woodwork is the original and it's beautiful. It has a brick fireplace. It even has a window seat in the dining room. It has lots and lots of character, being a house built in the late 1800's.
The changes that we have gone through in this house have been changes beyond our control. Changes in our family - girls growing up, getting married and moving away, grandchildren, Steve and I getting older. We have gone through some intense life disappointments in this house - most of them beyond our control. We have gone through a metamorphosis in our marriage - empty nesting is no laughing matter - it's painful. We've had many losses in this house - loss of a family dog - loss of church family - loss of what was and is no more in family situations and other relational situations.
These life changes that are beyond my control are very difficult for me. I grieve deeply. I feel deeply. I love deeply and when changes occur in my relationships - it affects me deeply. The last 5 years in particular have been joyous and sad - a mixed bag of emotions - from high highs to low lows. In the midst of these life changes - our living situation has not changed. God knew that I would need something stable in my life - even if it was just a house.
Now, once again change is on the near horizon. I feel the same restlessness. The cloud above our head is shifting - it's changing it's form. The wind has shifted it's direction. I am eager for this next horizon. I am eager to see what's around the next bend. My eyes are open and my footsteps are quickening because I am looking forward to the new, the breath of fresh air, the change. I am tired of grieving. I am tired of loss. I am tired of the exhaustion. So ready for the next horizon, the next chapter, the next change.
Change can be fun, adventurous, bring a breath of fresh air.
Change can be forming a different opinion, a change of lifestyle, a season in life.
Throughout our day - there can be many changes. We change our position when we leave our house to go to work. Those changes are routine and part of our day. We change clothes at lease once a day, sometimes several times in a day.
Throughout our 32 years of marriage - we have changed places of residences about every 3 years. We even changed our residence to a different country a couple of times. This place that we live in now, we have been here since 2004 - that is a change of lifestyle for us. We have not put down roots in any one place for very long until this house. Every few years, I get restless and antsy. Steve gets frustrated with me sometimes because of it. So, I move the furniture around. I go to thrift stores and find something I like and bring it home. I clean out a closet or a room and downsize my stuff. That settles me for a little while. I get tired of same old, same old. I relish change. I relish the new.
We have purchased houses and remodeled them and turned around and sold them. We have built our own house (which was our favorite place). Each time, we moved - it was for a lifestyle change. We either went on the mission field or went into ministry with the church or moved from the city to the country or finished remodeling and needed another project.
In 2004, we moved back here after 3 years of being in India. We moved to this house because we wanted to be in town - we were used to being in a city of 15 million people and couldn't see us being in the country, it felt too isolating. Plus in this neighborhood - were close friends. We walked into this house and immediately fell in love. It has an open stairway and all the woodwork is the original and it's beautiful. It has a brick fireplace. It even has a window seat in the dining room. It has lots and lots of character, being a house built in the late 1800's.
The changes that we have gone through in this house have been changes beyond our control. Changes in our family - girls growing up, getting married and moving away, grandchildren, Steve and I getting older. We have gone through some intense life disappointments in this house - most of them beyond our control. We have gone through a metamorphosis in our marriage - empty nesting is no laughing matter - it's painful. We've had many losses in this house - loss of a family dog - loss of church family - loss of what was and is no more in family situations and other relational situations.
These life changes that are beyond my control are very difficult for me. I grieve deeply. I feel deeply. I love deeply and when changes occur in my relationships - it affects me deeply. The last 5 years in particular have been joyous and sad - a mixed bag of emotions - from high highs to low lows. In the midst of these life changes - our living situation has not changed. God knew that I would need something stable in my life - even if it was just a house.
Now, once again change is on the near horizon. I feel the same restlessness. The cloud above our head is shifting - it's changing it's form. The wind has shifted it's direction. I am eager for this next horizon. I am eager to see what's around the next bend. My eyes are open and my footsteps are quickening because I am looking forward to the new, the breath of fresh air, the change. I am tired of grieving. I am tired of loss. I am tired of the exhaustion. So ready for the next horizon, the next chapter, the next change.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
New Arrival
March 24, 2017 - Heaven blessed us with the birth of Lucas Meindert Huijgen to our youngest daughter and her husband and Lucas's older brother. Our second grandson. In a family of girls - Steve is thrilled to be surrounded by his boys. =D
Weighing in at 7lbs and 19" long. He's a keeper for sure. Baby and Momma are doing fine.
Somehow and at some point - he had managed to move himself out of the position in which to be born and so they opted for a C Section.
We were able to meet him through a "What's App" app on our phones in the morning because all of us were either at work or getting ready to go to work. Steve and I then meet him personally through a Skype session.
We just can't get enough of seeing him and even through the Skype session - we just didn't want to hang up. We are so very grateful for technology and being able to be involved in his life even if it's from a distance.
Sure wish that we would be able to "pop" on over there for the weekend but that kind of technology isn't around yet.
Somehow and at some point - he had managed to move himself out of the position in which to be born and so they opted for a C Section.
We were able to meet him through a "What's App" app on our phones in the morning because all of us were either at work or getting ready to go to work. Steve and I then meet him personally through a Skype session.
We just can't get enough of seeing him and even through the Skype session - we just didn't want to hang up. We are so very grateful for technology and being able to be involved in his life even if it's from a distance.
Sure wish that we would be able to "pop" on over there for the weekend but that kind of technology isn't around yet.
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Best Timing......God's Timing
After 2 weeks of trying NOT to hyperventilate, throw a temper tantrum, drive down to Georgia to give this company a piece of my mind and lose my religion in the process....we FINALLY hear from them today.
Evidently, the guy that had all of our paperwork was out of the office for 4 days and no one knew how to get our emails off his laptop. Whatever......dudes......at least contact has been made!!!! He told us to get this oven fixed, whatever it takes and they will pay for it. So yes!!!! Movement.
I promptly called our repair guy and got his voice mail which said that he has pneumonia and won't be even answering his phone til Friday......NOW.....we wait some more......I should be used to this by now and very, very good at it.....,much to my dismay, not so much.
I KNOW beyond any shadow of a doubt that God has my back! That He has The Window's back. We are ministering to ones that He cherishes, that are close to His heart. We are ministering to His very heart by the lives that we touch on a daily basis. And He's proven it time and time again with answered prayer, with angels showing up in the dining room, with a sugar bin that never runs dry, with a whole meal that shows up unannounced down to the exact items that are on the menu for the next day, for the ability to day in and day out - provide food for 100+ people.
I should be able to relax and not lose my joy and not lose my perspective and not lose my religion (I don't really have religion - I have a relationship with the Most High)....but again, I am aware of my humanity and my tendency to hit the panic button, to run around like a chicken with my head cut off, lose a bunch of sleep and get myself all out of whack. Just when I think I've finally learned my lessons - I hit a wall and understand that there is still so much more to learn. And that on this side of heaven - I will never quite learn all of the lesson. Which keeps me humble, which keeps me on my knees, which keeps me always needing My Savior and Hero to rescue me, which keeps me always needing the Breath of Life to keep me moving and breathing.
So now, we can get busy with cleaning up the oven and making it shine and look like something worthy of being in our kitchen.
Thanks for praying and standing with me and encouraging me.
Evidently, the guy that had all of our paperwork was out of the office for 4 days and no one knew how to get our emails off his laptop. Whatever......dudes......at least contact has been made!!!! He told us to get this oven fixed, whatever it takes and they will pay for it. So yes!!!! Movement.
I promptly called our repair guy and got his voice mail which said that he has pneumonia and won't be even answering his phone til Friday......NOW.....we wait some more......I should be used to this by now and very, very good at it.....,much to my dismay, not so much.
I KNOW beyond any shadow of a doubt that God has my back! That He has The Window's back. We are ministering to ones that He cherishes, that are close to His heart. We are ministering to His very heart by the lives that we touch on a daily basis. And He's proven it time and time again with answered prayer, with angels showing up in the dining room, with a sugar bin that never runs dry, with a whole meal that shows up unannounced down to the exact items that are on the menu for the next day, for the ability to day in and day out - provide food for 100+ people.
I should be able to relax and not lose my joy and not lose my perspective and not lose my religion (I don't really have religion - I have a relationship with the Most High)....but again, I am aware of my humanity and my tendency to hit the panic button, to run around like a chicken with my head cut off, lose a bunch of sleep and get myself all out of whack. Just when I think I've finally learned my lessons - I hit a wall and understand that there is still so much more to learn. And that on this side of heaven - I will never quite learn all of the lesson. Which keeps me humble, which keeps me on my knees, which keeps me always needing My Savior and Hero to rescue me, which keeps me always needing the Breath of Life to keep me moving and breathing.
So now, we can get busy with cleaning up the oven and making it shine and look like something worthy of being in our kitchen.
Thanks for praying and standing with me and encouraging me.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Frustration.....Feeling Helpless and Small
The saga of our new/used/not working/not able to use/taking up space convection oven continues. As I sit here and type - this oven has been sitting in our kitchen for 2 weeks now not being able to use it. From the very evening we received it and set it up - it has NOT worked.
We have called and complained and had someone come and check it out and write a diagnosis and we faxed it to them. Still no response. We have called and left messages. No one calls us back. No one answers the phones now from us.
We are out $3700 - we want to send it back but we will not let it leave our kitchen til we know that we are going to get our money back and that they will pay for shipping it back. We can't purchase another one until this one gets taken care of. We don't have this kind of money. We don't have this kind of time to keep messing around.
Right now, we are serving over 100 meals a day out of our kitchen and all we are using is a conventional oven that does not heat evenly and takes almost twice as long to get the food done. It is getting very old to keep being creative on how we're going to get the food done. It's beginning to wear on us. Beginning next month our numbers will be climbing and I don't know how we're going to be able to do it.
I feel so helpless. I feel like we're a tiny mouse trying to move a mountain and I have no traction, no tread, like I'm on ice and just can't get any footing. I don't know what else to do! I can't get anywhere. I'm about ready to call a tv station and tell them our story and see if they can get anywhere for us. I can't just give up because then we're no where......
I am really really trying to find the silver lining in this. I am really really trying to keep my joy. I am really really trying to keep my cool - but I'm just about coming unglued.
God, You are our Defender. You are our Deliverer. I choose to trust You and Your Might. You can move this mountain. You can get through to this company. You have the answers where I have none. You know the next step. You will make a way for us when there seems to be no way right now.
Sorry to rant but I had to get it out to be able to sleep tonight. And with this reminder that God has our back, I will lay down and sleep in confidence that He will get us through.
We have called and complained and had someone come and check it out and write a diagnosis and we faxed it to them. Still no response. We have called and left messages. No one calls us back. No one answers the phones now from us.
We are out $3700 - we want to send it back but we will not let it leave our kitchen til we know that we are going to get our money back and that they will pay for shipping it back. We can't purchase another one until this one gets taken care of. We don't have this kind of money. We don't have this kind of time to keep messing around.
Right now, we are serving over 100 meals a day out of our kitchen and all we are using is a conventional oven that does not heat evenly and takes almost twice as long to get the food done. It is getting very old to keep being creative on how we're going to get the food done. It's beginning to wear on us. Beginning next month our numbers will be climbing and I don't know how we're going to be able to do it.
I feel so helpless. I feel like we're a tiny mouse trying to move a mountain and I have no traction, no tread, like I'm on ice and just can't get any footing. I don't know what else to do! I can't get anywhere. I'm about ready to call a tv station and tell them our story and see if they can get anywhere for us. I can't just give up because then we're no where......
I am really really trying to find the silver lining in this. I am really really trying to keep my joy. I am really really trying to keep my cool - but I'm just about coming unglued.
God, You are our Defender. You are our Deliverer. I choose to trust You and Your Might. You can move this mountain. You can get through to this company. You have the answers where I have none. You know the next step. You will make a way for us when there seems to be no way right now.
Sorry to rant but I had to get it out to be able to sleep tonight. And with this reminder that God has our back, I will lay down and sleep in confidence that He will get us through.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
A Family Friendly Lazy Saturday
Today is gray, chilly and drizzly......Started out this morning having breakfast with several of my siblings, my husband and my mom and dad. It is a tradition when the parents are in town and leaving the next morning that we have breakfast together at Grandma's House of Pancakes. Usually we have a long table filled with kids and adults alike. We tend to take over the back area of the restaurant with our laughing, rowdiness and the decibels of talking go higher and higher as we all talk above, in between and among each other. This morning was very different - there was only 7 of us and much more subdued than normal. I love my family. We are passionate, quite opinionated but full of love and fun.
From there, Steve and I took off for Middlebury to spend time with his mom. While he did hers, his sister's and niece's taxes - I went through some old VHS tapes to see what was on them. We are sending a box of these tapes to get transferred onto thumb drives or DVDs. The one tape that had anything worth keeping was one where it looked as if we were celebrating my oldest daughter's 2 year birthday and my sister in law's birthday. They are both in the month of June. And then my second daughter was I'm guessing about 10 months old. I was not prepared to watch my late father in law on that video. It kinda took my breath away as I watched him play with Hannah and and hold Krista and interact with them. He was such a kind man and he loved his granddaughters so very much. Then I watched a very much younger version of Steve interacting with Hannah and my heart just melted. Steve was and is an amazing father. I love being a mom and I loved my children at all their stages in life but those were precious years. When that project was finished, I went out to a recliner and took a long nap. Woke up just in time for the 3 of us to go out for lunch.
We returned home about 3.30 and I proceeded to catch up on a couple of my favorite tv shows - ended up taking another nap.
Now, I'm listening to music on our camping playlist. Looking out the window, I can't wait until we can pull out that camper and get to camping. Which both of us love to do. We are learning to love being alone together and not doing much. We are learning to love this stage of our lives. We wish our kids would be physically close to us so that we could see them more often. Tomorrow, we are meeting with them over Skype........For now, Creedence Clearwater Revival takes me away as we go "Rollin' on the River". Also excitedly waiting for our second grandchild to enter this world. Seems it will happen any day now.......
From there, Steve and I took off for Middlebury to spend time with his mom. While he did hers, his sister's and niece's taxes - I went through some old VHS tapes to see what was on them. We are sending a box of these tapes to get transferred onto thumb drives or DVDs. The one tape that had anything worth keeping was one where it looked as if we were celebrating my oldest daughter's 2 year birthday and my sister in law's birthday. They are both in the month of June. And then my second daughter was I'm guessing about 10 months old. I was not prepared to watch my late father in law on that video. It kinda took my breath away as I watched him play with Hannah and and hold Krista and interact with them. He was such a kind man and he loved his granddaughters so very much. Then I watched a very much younger version of Steve interacting with Hannah and my heart just melted. Steve was and is an amazing father. I love being a mom and I loved my children at all their stages in life but those were precious years. When that project was finished, I went out to a recliner and took a long nap. Woke up just in time for the 3 of us to go out for lunch.
We returned home about 3.30 and I proceeded to catch up on a couple of my favorite tv shows - ended up taking another nap.
Now, I'm listening to music on our camping playlist. Looking out the window, I can't wait until we can pull out that camper and get to camping. Which both of us love to do. We are learning to love being alone together and not doing much. We are learning to love this stage of our lives. We wish our kids would be physically close to us so that we could see them more often. Tomorrow, we are meeting with them over Skype........For now, Creedence Clearwater Revival takes me away as we go "Rollin' on the River". Also excitedly waiting for our second grandchild to enter this world. Seems it will happen any day now.......
Friday, March 17, 2017
A Different Way of Grandparenting
He lives in The Netherlands and our relationship exists through "skype" and "what's app" videos and pictures and the occasional visits. It's rough.....no doubt about it.
Any day now, this little guy will become a big brother. I woke up this morning as I was dreaming of waking up to a video of being shown my new grandbaby......as I woke up tears were rolling down my cheeks. I can't wait to meet this new little life. Sadly, I won't even be able to physically hold this new life until he/she is 6 months old. That thought alone makes the tears roll down. So I try not to think too much about that. At least we have the internet. I'm thinking it wouldn't be so very hard to live there. Not only do we have grandchildren to want to live close to, we have other beautiful European countries at our fingertips. All we have to do is hop on the train and in a flash we are in Paris or Brussels or.......yeah I think moving over there is the right thing to do!
Thursday, March 16, 2017
More About Life in the Kitchen
This is my kitchen crew at The Window, Inc. and I got these shirts for all of us because we work miracles out of that kitchen - I should say God works miracles through us out of that kitchen.
We prepare meals for about 35-38 recipients on our Meals on Wheels program every day. We are also 3 weeks into a new Lunch Box program where we have 10 recipients every day (as of yesterday) - it is continuing to grow. Then we prepare a hot lunch for approx 80 people every day. That's a lot of food and a lot of preparation. We have lots of stories and see lots of miracles. We have fun, we work hard and there are days that are very difficult. God is on the move and He is working. We are reaching the core of His heart when we take care of the poor and the widow and the fatherless.
90% of the food that we prepare is made from scratch and from donations. We make our menus predominately by follow our "6-week plan" for MOW. Depending on what comes in and what needs to be used - is how we determine our menu for the day. It can change from the evening before to the next morning. During the afternoon - donations can come through that we don't know about until we arrive in the morning and depending on what comes in - can determine whether or not our menu changes for the day. =)
It keeps us on our toes and keeps us from being bored.
We are now also talking about adding something new to our week. More details will be coming.
If you are in the area and would love to come be a part of this awesome team - we can use the help. Please contact me here and then I will send my personal contact info. If you would love to help monetarily - I am going to attach the link to The Window's website.
The Window with all of it's services, takes care of approx 300 people per day. It is a vibrant community outreach. We are striving to make it more relevant to the people that we serve. We are looking at new and fresh ways to bring life and to be a blessing. We want to see people grow in every way and to see and be a step in their journey to getting back on their feet. We do our best to bring respect, dignity, and value to their lives as they struggle to maintain and even survive.
http://www.thewindowofgoshen.com
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
A New Oven for our Kitchen?
I am blogging this event because I am entirely frustrated. In my kitchen at The Window, our convection oven was old and slowly losing it's life. It used to an oven at a local school until they purchased a newer one and I received this one for about $1000 to put in my newly remodeled kitchen. Now, I have never worked with a Convection Oven before and once I started using it - I couldn't believe how much I fell in love with it. I was able to cook faster, more efficiently and with cooking for 100+ people every day - it was what I needed.
Anyway.....after 2 1/2 years of this "old" oven working for me - it began to show signs of falling apart. And because I like to be proactive, I began my search for another one. Because we are a non for profit organization and run solely on donations and some gov't grants - I needed to be able to get a rather good oven for as little money as I possibly could. And I wanted to convert the electric one that I had been using to gas. It was cheaper to purchase from the outset and then it would be cheaper to run on a daily basis. I went directly to the online company that we have used with many of our other appliances that we have had such great results from. We have purchased a walk in freezer, walk in cooler and a pantry cooler and I believe another piece of equipment that I can't recall right now. All of these items have been used, a little older and for less money but in great condition. So I went right to them with much confidence.
I found this convection oven for a really really good price, so really really good that I couldn't believe my luck. I had my Director call his guy in this company and we were able to purchase it for an even lower price than was listed. I was ecstatic to say the least. Now that the oven was purchased, my cook set to work at tearing apart the old one. We are scrapping it to make some money off of it. So now 2 weeks have gone by with no oven. Finally last Thursday, I got the call that it had come in. I quickly made some phone calls to get some guys and my handsome, strong, every ready to be my hero husband to come and help get this heavy piece into my kitchen.
I was so excited to fall in love with my new/used convection oven and couldn't wait to get it installed so we could go back to life as we know it in the kitchen. But much to my dismay - the oven was a disaster. It was rusty, it was greasy, the screws were stripped and had to be hammered out. As the guys began to set it in the kitchen, I became more and more disappointed. The panels that dictate the temps and the controls was cracking and peeling off. The knobs were all caked in grease and the oven doors themselves were coated on the inside with grease. I psyched myself up and thought that with a little elbow grease and muscle we could clean it up and make it shine and we would be ok.
We plugged in the top unit and devastation ensued - the fan was not working. The next day, my Director began to make phone calls. We had an inspection of the unit yesterday and for sure the top unit's motor had seized and we would need another one. Ok, no worries - we would get a new fan and get it working in tip top shape and in the meantime, we would clean it up, get the gas hooked up to the lower unit and began to cook with that one. So today, my cook had the day off cooking so that he could begin the cleaning. The gas was hooked up to it and he turned it on.......black smoke began to billow out of the doors. I thought ok, well maybe the cleaning solutions or if they put in new parts - it has to burn itself out. 20 minutes later.......the cloud was still billowing and the staff were beginning to choke from the smoke and the smells. So with crestfallen hearts and faces we turned it off, unplugged it and once again called our guy from this company.
By this time, I'm mad, I'm frustrated, so very disappointed and I tell the guy that I just want to have this piece picked up and taken away, get our money back and begin this process all over again. He assured me that he is just as confused and frustrated as I am that we're having such a problem. He was going to talk to Customer Service and call my patient Director back. As of 4pm today, he has not received a call.
So I find myself in a conundrum.......do I totally allow myself to get all worked up about this or do I find the silver lining, find something to be thankful for in this situation? I am trying to remain calm. I am hoping that this guy will come through for us.
For now, we go back to cooking old school, the way that I used to when I didn't have the convection oven. By using roasters....a lot and using the ovens I do have that cook slower. I am very thankful that I have those ovens. I can at least cook 8 steam table pans at the same time for which I am very grateful. I am also very thankful that this is happening during our slow time with lower numbers in the dining room. I am so hoping that we will have another convection oven in full swing by the time the weather gets warmer and our numbers go up.
Thank you Lord, for helping me to find things to be thankful for in this chaotic and frustrating situation.
Anyway.....after 2 1/2 years of this "old" oven working for me - it began to show signs of falling apart. And because I like to be proactive, I began my search for another one. Because we are a non for profit organization and run solely on donations and some gov't grants - I needed to be able to get a rather good oven for as little money as I possibly could. And I wanted to convert the electric one that I had been using to gas. It was cheaper to purchase from the outset and then it would be cheaper to run on a daily basis. I went directly to the online company that we have used with many of our other appliances that we have had such great results from. We have purchased a walk in freezer, walk in cooler and a pantry cooler and I believe another piece of equipment that I can't recall right now. All of these items have been used, a little older and for less money but in great condition. So I went right to them with much confidence.
I found this convection oven for a really really good price, so really really good that I couldn't believe my luck. I had my Director call his guy in this company and we were able to purchase it for an even lower price than was listed. I was ecstatic to say the least. Now that the oven was purchased, my cook set to work at tearing apart the old one. We are scrapping it to make some money off of it. So now 2 weeks have gone by with no oven. Finally last Thursday, I got the call that it had come in. I quickly made some phone calls to get some guys and my handsome, strong, every ready to be my hero husband to come and help get this heavy piece into my kitchen.
I was so excited to fall in love with my new/used convection oven and couldn't wait to get it installed so we could go back to life as we know it in the kitchen. But much to my dismay - the oven was a disaster. It was rusty, it was greasy, the screws were stripped and had to be hammered out. As the guys began to set it in the kitchen, I became more and more disappointed. The panels that dictate the temps and the controls was cracking and peeling off. The knobs were all caked in grease and the oven doors themselves were coated on the inside with grease. I psyched myself up and thought that with a little elbow grease and muscle we could clean it up and make it shine and we would be ok.
We plugged in the top unit and devastation ensued - the fan was not working. The next day, my Director began to make phone calls. We had an inspection of the unit yesterday and for sure the top unit's motor had seized and we would need another one. Ok, no worries - we would get a new fan and get it working in tip top shape and in the meantime, we would clean it up, get the gas hooked up to the lower unit and began to cook with that one. So today, my cook had the day off cooking so that he could begin the cleaning. The gas was hooked up to it and he turned it on.......black smoke began to billow out of the doors. I thought ok, well maybe the cleaning solutions or if they put in new parts - it has to burn itself out. 20 minutes later.......the cloud was still billowing and the staff were beginning to choke from the smoke and the smells. So with crestfallen hearts and faces we turned it off, unplugged it and once again called our guy from this company.
By this time, I'm mad, I'm frustrated, so very disappointed and I tell the guy that I just want to have this piece picked up and taken away, get our money back and begin this process all over again. He assured me that he is just as confused and frustrated as I am that we're having such a problem. He was going to talk to Customer Service and call my patient Director back. As of 4pm today, he has not received a call.
So I find myself in a conundrum.......do I totally allow myself to get all worked up about this or do I find the silver lining, find something to be thankful for in this situation? I am trying to remain calm. I am hoping that this guy will come through for us.
For now, we go back to cooking old school, the way that I used to when I didn't have the convection oven. By using roasters....a lot and using the ovens I do have that cook slower. I am very thankful that I have those ovens. I can at least cook 8 steam table pans at the same time for which I am very grateful. I am also very thankful that this is happening during our slow time with lower numbers in the dining room. I am so hoping that we will have another convection oven in full swing by the time the weather gets warmer and our numbers go up.
Thank you Lord, for helping me to find things to be thankful for in this chaotic and frustrating situation.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
A New Way to Experience An Anniversary Weekend
Several weeks ago, I decided that I was going to make some plans for getting away for our anniversary. We have not in all of our years of marriage stayed at a Bed & Breakfast, so I embarked on the research.
First of all, because of the unusually warm temps for the past number of weeks and second, because I love Lake Michigan; I decided to check out places close to the Lake. The one that stood out to me most and foremost was The Kingsley House in Fennville, MI. It was close to the Lake, close to many wineries, close to Holland (which is a little town I fell in love with a couple of years ago) and close to Saugatuk ( a quaint resort town on Lake Michigan). I love small resort towns. Anyway, this place had rave reviews. So I booked us a room for 2 nights, envisioning us being able to spend our time outside exploring Lake Michigan and quaint touristy shops and eateries - even if the temps would be in the 50's - even 40's would have been ok.
But as the week of our anniversary approached - the weather reports were not looking good. I was so hoping that it would change at the last minute. Needless to say - it did not!!!! And the temps dipped down into the teens at night and Saturday did not get above 22 and the wind was COLD! I was disappointed - I began to look for things and activities to do indoors. But there just wasn't that much available. And if there was - they were not open because it was not tourist season.
Anyway - we needed some time away - so we went anyway. It was a new experience for both of us. I really did not know quite what to expect with a B & B. All I knew was that there were bedrooms and breakfast in the morning. This was a Victorian era house and it was very beautiful. It was what I would have expected a Bed & Breakfast to look like. The host was very welcoming and professional. The food was excellent. We did have to wait until 9am to eat breakfast (we're used to eating at like 5.30/6am) so we were both very hungry. And then ALL the guests ate together as the host seated us and served us. I assumed it would be kind of like a continental breakfast at a hotel being open at certain hours and we would be eating at our leisure and helping ourselves. Thankfully, the other guests were very nice and talkative and we all had a great time around the table getting to know each other. One of the guests was an actual Homeland Security cop/detective. And we found out that this couple were celebrating their 15th anniversary and guess what day......March 9 Ha!!!! who would have thought that 2 couples who never knew each other would meet on this weekend at this specific B&B and be celebrating anniversaries that occurred on the same day. The other 2 couples, interestingly enough, celebrate their anniversaries both in the month of October......I do not believe in coincidences.....interesting.......
Steve and I took a nap in the morning after breakfast and a nap in the afternoon on Saturday. We took the drive to Holland - did NOT get out to walk around but did get out to eat lunch at a very good bar and grill place. We then drove to Saugatuk and drove along the lake and around the little town. We did NOT get out to walk around. Just wasn't in the mood to battle the cold temps. In the evening, after we had a great meal at Salt of the Earth in Fennville - we watched the movie "Secondhand Lions" (excellent movie).
We ate breakfast again this morning and then leisurely took our time coming home.
Disappointing because it did not happen the way that I had anticipated - but for some reason, my plans usually do not pan out. I think I put too much expectation on them - even though I try not to. We did get refreshed, got some much needed rest and sleep and was able to be together and not have any agenda, which is very refreshing.
Good experience! I would highly recommend The Kingsly House if you like to go that direction and if you like B & B's. I asked Steve if he thought we should try to do them more often, since he is the Introvert.....he wasn't sure. He liked the atmosphere and the personal touches. Not a huge fan of eating breakfast with a bunch of total strangers. Thankfully, God was kind to give us fellow guests that were not difficult to get to know.
First of all, because of the unusually warm temps for the past number of weeks and second, because I love Lake Michigan; I decided to check out places close to the Lake. The one that stood out to me most and foremost was The Kingsley House in Fennville, MI. It was close to the Lake, close to many wineries, close to Holland (which is a little town I fell in love with a couple of years ago) and close to Saugatuk ( a quaint resort town on Lake Michigan). I love small resort towns. Anyway, this place had rave reviews. So I booked us a room for 2 nights, envisioning us being able to spend our time outside exploring Lake Michigan and quaint touristy shops and eateries - even if the temps would be in the 50's - even 40's would have been ok.
But as the week of our anniversary approached - the weather reports were not looking good. I was so hoping that it would change at the last minute. Needless to say - it did not!!!! And the temps dipped down into the teens at night and Saturday did not get above 22 and the wind was COLD! I was disappointed - I began to look for things and activities to do indoors. But there just wasn't that much available. And if there was - they were not open because it was not tourist season.
Anyway - we needed some time away - so we went anyway. It was a new experience for both of us. I really did not know quite what to expect with a B & B. All I knew was that there were bedrooms and breakfast in the morning. This was a Victorian era house and it was very beautiful. It was what I would have expected a Bed & Breakfast to look like. The host was very welcoming and professional. The food was excellent. We did have to wait until 9am to eat breakfast (we're used to eating at like 5.30/6am) so we were both very hungry. And then ALL the guests ate together as the host seated us and served us. I assumed it would be kind of like a continental breakfast at a hotel being open at certain hours and we would be eating at our leisure and helping ourselves. Thankfully, the other guests were very nice and talkative and we all had a great time around the table getting to know each other. One of the guests was an actual Homeland Security cop/detective. And we found out that this couple were celebrating their 15th anniversary and guess what day......March 9 Ha!!!! who would have thought that 2 couples who never knew each other would meet on this weekend at this specific B&B and be celebrating anniversaries that occurred on the same day. The other 2 couples, interestingly enough, celebrate their anniversaries both in the month of October......I do not believe in coincidences.....interesting.......
Steve and I took a nap in the morning after breakfast and a nap in the afternoon on Saturday. We took the drive to Holland - did NOT get out to walk around but did get out to eat lunch at a very good bar and grill place. We then drove to Saugatuk and drove along the lake and around the little town. We did NOT get out to walk around. Just wasn't in the mood to battle the cold temps. In the evening, after we had a great meal at Salt of the Earth in Fennville - we watched the movie "Secondhand Lions" (excellent movie).
We ate breakfast again this morning and then leisurely took our time coming home.
Disappointing because it did not happen the way that I had anticipated - but for some reason, my plans usually do not pan out. I think I put too much expectation on them - even though I try not to. We did get refreshed, got some much needed rest and sleep and was able to be together and not have any agenda, which is very refreshing.
Good experience! I would highly recommend The Kingsly House if you like to go that direction and if you like B & B's. I asked Steve if he thought we should try to do them more often, since he is the Introvert.....he wasn't sure. He liked the atmosphere and the personal touches. Not a huge fan of eating breakfast with a bunch of total strangers. Thankfully, God was kind to give us fellow guests that were not difficult to get to know.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
32 Years of Marriage
Steve and I are polar opposites. He works outside every day - I work inside every day. I like going on walks - He doesn't. I like riding bike - He doesn't. He is a classic Introvert - I am the Extrovert. I am a Dreamer - He is a Realist. He is tall - I am short. He has blue eyes - I have brown. He has blonde (well gray now) hair - I have dark brown (with some gray and now mostly blue) hair. He is self disciplined - I am a loose cannon. He is a man of few words and I on the other hand....well....hence the need for a blog.
32 years ago today - I married the love of my life. never really gave it much thought as to what our lives would look like this far along. We've had our share of ups and downs and really bad days and we've had many many really super duper days. We've had misunderstandings, disappointments, loss, grief, lots of laughter and lots of grace, we've traveled the world, been missionaries. We have so many fun memories. We made a promise to each other that day so long ago to love each other for better or worse. Commitment these days means many different things but to me it means that someone loves me enough to do everything he can to work it out with me. I am confident that he will never walk away from me - even though i am not the easiest person to be married to day in and day out. God gave me someone who can put me in my place when needed. He gave me someone who loves me unconditionally even through all the dysfunctions i've had in my life. We've raised 3 beautiful girls. so very very happy to have experienced this life with this man i call my husband. here's to however many more years that we have together - one thing i am certain of.....it will never be boring.
I have told many people that I can't believe the kind of life God has granted me. I am truly blessed.
Anyway - all that to say......We went beyond our "falling in love" to fully understanding what it means to stay in love and to stay committed even when the romantic feelings weren't always there.
Happy Anniversary to us and 32 years later - this is our legacy.....
Sunday, March 5, 2017
A Walk, A New Pair of Socks and Remembering
I used to walk almost every day but since my faithful walking companion Zac died 1 1/2 years ago, it's been hard for me to go on walks. He used to love walking and exploring and being outdoors.
I am needing to get back into those good habits of walking and getting my exercise. So, I went out for a walk along the Riverwalk. It is not very beautiful with color and sun and warmth today but there is a bleak beauty even in the bare, the brown and the gray.
I stood and watched the geese and the ducks and remembered how Zac used to love to chase them. He loved getting them all riled up and rushing into the water. He loved playing in the river.
As you can see in the middle photo - there is construction going on. Tearing down of the old YMCA building and many houses along that area - all reminiscent of life that happened there and is no more. As I continued to walk around the construction zone - I did see the plans for the new Activity Center that is to be erected there. Possibilities for new life and new beginnings........there is life beyond the bleak, the gray, the brown and the grieving and missing of life that used to be.
At the end of my walk - I determined that I needed a new pair of socks. The ones that I had on were the most frustrating socks ever.....every few steps, I had to take off my shoes and readjust my socks. Evidently, the elastic is no more......another life gone but the possibilities of the myriad of choices for new socks brings a smile to my face.
All in a 20 minute walk along the Elkhart Riverwalk - I never get bored - there is always something to think about, to look at, to imagine, to remember and to look forward to.........I pray God will continue to give me new eyes to always see the possibilities of life even in the darkest of times.
As you can see in the middle photo - there is construction going on. Tearing down of the old YMCA building and many houses along that area - all reminiscent of life that happened there and is no more. As I continued to walk around the construction zone - I did see the plans for the new Activity Center that is to be erected there. Possibilities for new life and new beginnings........there is life beyond the bleak, the gray, the brown and the grieving and missing of life that used to be.
At the end of my walk - I determined that I needed a new pair of socks. The ones that I had on were the most frustrating socks ever.....every few steps, I had to take off my shoes and readjust my socks. Evidently, the elastic is no more......another life gone but the possibilities of the myriad of choices for new socks brings a smile to my face.
All in a 20 minute walk along the Elkhart Riverwalk - I never get bored - there is always something to think about, to look at, to imagine, to remember and to look forward to.........I pray God will continue to give me new eyes to always see the possibilities of life even in the darkest of times.
Friday, March 3, 2017
New Program and Loving my Job
This is a photo and a quote from one of our recipients of our new "Lunch Box Program" at The Window,Inc. For those of you who don't know me - I am the Kitchen Administrator at The Window, Inc, which is a soup kitchen/food pantry/social service for our local community.
We began this new program this week for those who work during the hours that we hand out sandwiches. We wanted to reward them for being faithful and giving them a good nutritious meal. If they came for our hot lunch and stuck around - we would give them some leftovers to take with them to work. It just makes sense. We have 6 people right now on our program. We are hoping that it increases as word gets around.
I love my job, plain and simple! I love interacting with people as they come in. I love getting to know them and hearing their stories. I love giving them hope and a smile and a place where they are recognized, known and valued. Everyone is treated as family - we joke, we laugh, we cry and rejoice at the good and even get angry at the bad.
Just yesterday, I was beginning to clean up the dining room after lunch was finished. A young man asked if he could help and of course, I wasn't going to turn it down. As he began to help, 2 more young men just pitched right in. They had that dining room cleaned up in about 20 min. time. We had the music turned up and were singing and dancing as we cleaned. I love when I have the help and it makes them feel better knowing that they are giving back for the meal they just enjoyed. And I like to think they even enjoy being with me. =)
If you would like to know more about what we do - check out our facebook page The Window, Inc and there is a link to our website. We have a shower for those that have no place to shower. We also offer laundry services. We have a clothing closet. We run a Meals On Wheels program from our kitchen as well. And there is so much more that we offer and everything is free. We are mostly run by the donations from the community. We receive some food from the local Food Bank. We also receive some financial assistance from a few local grants. We continue to grow and change. We currently serve approx. 350 people a day through our many services. And we are running at 9 people on staff. Definitely a deficit there - but our budget doesn't allow at this point any more staff. But God helps us and at the end of the day - we wonder how it all happens. =) By the grace and sufficiency of our God!
Thursday, March 2, 2017
A New Greeting
Now I still have those moments but they are few and far between since they no longer live at home. Now most of our moments are through Skype, through "What's App" - sending videos, pictures and texting. A different era in our lives for sure. I am very thankful for these tools that help us to stay connected.
New greetings, new memories, new moments, new ways of communicating........sometimes "new" can be scary. Sometimes "new" can be sad. Usually, I look forward to new because I tend to get bored with same old, same old but.......new life changes are difficult for me. For me it is a grieving of what was and will never be again. There have been a lot of new life changes for me especially in the past year with the kids all moving further away and not being able to see them in person much. We are learning how to do family different and in new ways.
This is a new day - nothing yet written on it - so make it worth living. Make this new day a new adventure.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)