New Beginnings and Settling In

Tomorrow - I begin my new job with Goshen School Systems. Today, I went in to finalize all my paperwork and make sure that there was nothing alarming in my criminal background check. Whew....I was sweating bullets on that one....LOL

This week there is a lot of extra Yoders in the area because we are having our family reunion this weekend. Tomorrow morning some of my cousins are coming over for breakfast along with my mom and sisters.

Then I bike up to the Goshen Middle School to begin my first assignment of "subbing" in the kitchen/cafeteria. I think I'm going to be busy.

This past weekend Steve and I completed some projects around our house. It's looking good and feeling very much like our own now. I love when we can take a house and put our own personal touches to it and make it our home.

More gardening will happen next spring - but this is a start. I already have hummingbirds, nuthatches, cardinals, purple house finches, yellow finches and lots of sparrows. I enjoy sitting and watching them all.

In 2 weeks - we get on a plane and head over to The Netherlands to see our daughter and her family and hold our newest grandson for the first time. He will be 6 months while we are there. Johan has turned 3 this past Sunday. We will not be there near long enough but we will treasure and store up all the time that we do have with them. It will be the first time for Steve and I to be in that part of Europe.  We are also planning a day trip to Paris while we're there.

Doing A Few New Things

Last weekend, my Yoder family went on our annual (3rd year running) campout. We went to a new place. Seems like everywhere we go - we find new ways of being Yoder's and the one new way that we found was "rowdyism" (well actually it was how not to be rowdyism).  Yes, it clearly is a word cuz we googled it. And yes, it was on a set of rules with this one particular campgrounds. But the wording was "no rowdyism". It was second on the list of what not to do or be. We found the entire weekend was trying very hard not to be rowdyism. And if you know our family....well....let's just say - we don't succeed very well in that area.  hahaha

Also during the weekend, I tried something new to taste......turkish delight....can't really see why Edward gave up his siblings for some turkish delight in the Chronicles of Narnia - really wasn't THAT good.

Today, we again had an informal get together. Mom and Pops are in town, so we try to find any excuse to get together. This morning it was over waffles. I tried a couple new things: Mom's gluten free waffle and Lisa's new pecan waffle recipe. No offence to either of them, but I think I'll stick with my gluten-filled Bisquick waffles with pecans baked on top and fresh fruit, yogurt and pure maple syrup.

Another new thing that I did actually this morning was something I have never done before and it kinda creeped me out a bit. And that was to do a criminal background check on myself. I've had employers do that on me when I've begun a new job and evidently there's nothing to report because they continued to hire me. But this is the first time that I've been asked to do it myself and pay for it.
Maybe within the last 4 years since the last time one was done - I've done something criminal.....well we shall see.....it was rather weird though to do it on  myself.

So what new things have you tried lately???  Be brave. I'll keep forging new frontiers and going where I've never gone before and trying all things new. I shall see what new thing will spring up as I check out every opportunity that knocks on my door.

What Is Clearly At Hand

"Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand."  Thomas Carlyle

Living in the moment - not living in the past the "if only" and not living in the future "what if" but the "as if" right now!!!!

The promise of a new day to do what it is in my hand to do today!!!  There are many possibilities to what lies ahead but nothing is for sure except for what is right now!!!

What I see clearly is  right before the foggy haze. As the "Son" shines upon the fog - more becomes visible and I will then see clearly. So I progress with what I see at hand and do what is clear to me right now and as Holy Spirit shines through the fogginess of the future - more becomes clear.

Is it all clear to you as well?  Do today what is clearly seen to do today. Be who God has created you to be and all will become clear as we reveal His Glory and Beauty in our being.

Finding Rest in the Quiet, Lonely Spaces

Right?!?!  Isn't the quiet, lonely spaces restful? I'm finding out it isn't quite that simple and easy.

My mind constantly spins and whirs and chatters. It is very difficult to shut  my mind off. After so many years of trying to stay ahead with homeschooling my girls and then to keep up with them as they graduated and headed off into their own worlds. And then to also manage a very busy kitchen in a socially charged atmosphere.  I find myself not really knowing how to shut my mind off. As soon as I stir in the morning - my mind begins.

I'm finding that my quiet, lonely space these days has a new dimension to it. I don't really know myself anymore. I thought I did but the Holy Spirit has stretched me so much over the last 4 years that I don't seem to recognize who I am. It is a rather disconcerting place to be and to admit.

I do LOVE sunrises - that much I do know.

The sky this morning looks very much like my quiet, lonely spaces - very cloudy with peeks of sunshine.

I'm reading this book "If: Trading Your If Only Regrets for God's What If Possibilites" by Mark Batterson. This morning  this quote really jumped out at me and spoke to my lonely heart.
"Perhaps you're recently divorced. Maybe you've lost a job or lost a loved one this year. Or maybe your last child went off to college or your athletic career ended. In each of these scenarios and a thousand others, a vacuum was created. God wants to fill that vacuum with His Holy Spirit.The same Spirit who hovered over the void is hovering over you. He can bring beautiful order out of utter chaos."

Maybe this will encourage you this morning as it did me. I trust the Heart of the Holy Spirit as He hovers and broods over me in the quiet, lonely spaces of my heart.

A New Place

Bradenton, Florida was my trip destination. I drove down last Monday half of the way and spent the night in Chattanooga, TN where my husband had so kindly reserved a hotel room for me. Then drove the rest of the way on Tuesday. And then did the same thing yesterday and arrived home today around 1.30pm.  These are photos of where I was staying with one of my cousins and she lives a few roads back from the banks of the Upper Manatee River. It was such a beautiful sight for sunrises.
I was down there for 5 days and had a lot of resting, sleeping, reading and debriefing times. It was really hot during the day - so I was almost forced to stay inside and basically do nothing except rest. That was one of the main reasons why I needed to leave the routine and the familiar - so I would have no excuse to not rest.

One of the days I was down there, I drove over to Anna Maria Island and hung out at the beach and when it got too hot to be out in the sun, I sat at a waterside restaurant and was able to dig my feet in the sand and be under an umbrella but be close enough to hear the waves and bask in the wonder of the ocean.

It was a very healing time for me and I come back renewed, refreshed and ready for the next step of my journey - whatever that may be.

Doing A New Thing

Tomorrow I do something that I've never done before.....take a 17 hour road trip all by myself.  I've done 4-6 hour road trips alone but never this long. I'm excited and exhilarated as I think about the open road with my windows rolled down and singing at the top of my lungs along to my tunes. Also being able to talk to God out loud and scream and yell and cry - no one is going to hear me. I may get some odd looks as the pass me by but I really and truly don't care. The open road is therapeutic for me and I'm looking forward to the frustrations, disappointments, and the anger rolling off my shoulders as I roll down the highway. Letting everything go mile upon mile.

I will be spending some time on the beach - which will also be therapeutic for me. Waves and sand speak deeply to my soul. By the time I hit the beach- I will be so ready for God to speak His Love Language to the depths of my soul. I will have gotten rid of the yuck and will be ready to be so filled up with His immense Love for me. I am so ready to once again have  my soul refreshed and be able to hear His Still Small Voice.

I will also be spending time with my good friend and cousin. She is a certified Life Coach and will also help me as I deal with what was and look forward to what will be.

My dearest husband has taken care of me by reserving a hotel about half way both there and back. So I can take the miles in 2 days. I will only be gone a week but it will be life changing as all the cobwebs get swept out and I can see clearly.

Looking forward to a much happier and lighter side of me that I haven't been able to see for awhile. My daughter Hannah told me she is ready for a "stress-free" mom. Don't think that will ever be the case but less stress mom is what I'm looking forward to what that looks and feels like.

Discovering the next step and a new season - I'm excited for that!  

First Days Struggle

This is only Thursday and I have only NOT been working for 4 days and have gone through so many emotions and internal churning - that I feel it's been longer.

I want to "journal" my time of learning how to just be and NOT so much doing because I struggle with it so much and I know many others do as well. You don't have to read - I'm doing this mainly for me. You can follow along with my journey as you wish. I am not looking for applause or criticisms. If you wish to comment I highly approve. I hope that the Life of Jesus that flows through my processing will also encourage and inspire anyone else as you may relate to the struggle or joys or triumphs.

I have a lot of frustration that I have been struggling with getting past. Usually I quickly get irritated, frustrated and angry but it usually is for a moment and then I'm done and ready to move on. I call it a "flash in the pan" kind of irritation. But I have been dealing with a high level of frustration since the beginning of this year and it has been building until I am plain and simple angry. I will NOT give myself or anyone else the satisfaction of giving any details. Because this is my journey and I don't want to malign anyone else's character or reputation.

I have been having small tension headaches the past couple of days and I realize that I'm still carrying the frustration of seeing injustice happen to people that I care about and it really bothers me. I know I need to let it go cuz it really isn't my problem anymore but because I care - it bothers me. I hate seeing someone get away with treating others badly because they don't like them or because these people irritate them or inconvenience them or even because these people confront them. Everything inside of me wants to retaliate in some way but I know I must choose LOVE.  I know I must choose forgiveness and I know I have to stop taking on someone else's offences. I must do all I can to be at peace.

A good reminder that I read yesterday was a person of integrity chooses to do the right thing even when no one is watching or noticing.  I always strive to be a person of integrity. That's why I hate when people leave shopping carts in the parking lot. I have a difficult time walking by a piece of trash when it shouldn't be there in the first place. I try to always pick it up. I don't say these things to get a pat on the back or any applause. Just reminding myself that choosing to LOVE in the face of injustice is choosing to do the right thing even if it really doesn't make a difference. It does with in me.

So today - the lesson is to choose to LOVE in spite of........doesn't mean to be a doormat. But ultimately God is responsible to bring that person or persons to justice in due time. NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.  If  I walk in love than that gives God room and space and freedom to move in justice. It also gives my body the rest it needs. When I take on anything more than I'm responsible for then I get headaches, I get digestive problems, I get the churning going on and sleepless nights.  I really can't bring justice anyway - it's a fruitless endeavor when it's not within my power to do so.

The sunrises have been touching me in the very depths of my being. Bringing me life and healing and rest. I glory in the awesome creative power of my God and His artistic touches that breath so much life.

Morning Has Broken

Morning has broken was a song that entered into my mind yesterday morning as I watched the sun rise. I can't help but take photos of the glorious views that I have every morning here in this new home.

Monday morning, my sisters, nieces and nephews and great niece and nephews came to celebrate my first day of not having a job. Nothing quite like purchasing a new home and then deciding to quit your job. Exhilarating?  Well, not quite, but it had to be done.

And then my daughter and grandsons joined in the fun as well via video chat

Yesterday, I was battling a headache and loads of tiredness, so, I slept off and on pretty much all morning. I began to feel guilty for not getting up and doing something productive but just as quick I realized that my body is letting go of all the stress from the past 4 1/2 years and I needed to rest - that was being productive. I have lost 7 lbs since I walked away. That to me just shows how much stress I had been under.  I have a lot more to lose but I'm well on my way.

Yesterday afternoon, I was blessed by my friends from The Window as they gave me a farewell lunch. So good to share with them some highlights from my time of serving and then to share my short term plans. Lots of laughs and a few tears and really really good food.

Today, I feel energized and ready to get some things done. Cleaning out the camper and getting it ready for a weekend. Getting some things in order for my road trip to Florida.