New Adventure???

As most of you know, if you follow me on a regular basis, is that I have given my notice to the school system and I have declined the job offer with the hospital.  It all has come to a climax this past week, really just in the last several days. I had been offered a 40 hr/week from 5am-1.30pm position as a tray line cook in the hospital kitchen, specifically fixing trays for patients. I had been in conversation with the director and manager there for a couple of weeks. I even went in to job shadow one day. While all these talks were going on, my feet continued to ache and get stiffer. Which I thought was rather strange, seeing that I was on vacation for 2 weeks. I kept finding myself hesitating about taking on this job. Did I really think that I could do a 40hr/week, 8 hrs/day on my feet again? Did I really want to? I know that I need to bring in x-amount of money to help us pay for our trips to see our kids. And then I received the call from HR which totally threw the basket up in the air and nothing came down into the basket the way that it was. They were describing a different job description and hours and then when I asked them the pay - it wasn't even close to what I was hoping for or expecting. So then, I began to get down on myself. "No one wants to pay me for what I'm worth (on paper)". And then, I began to spiral a tad bit from there down in to the "pity hole" and began to play myself a pity party. The sad thing about these kinds of parties - NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO BE THERE.  I try to get people to come to my party and they may for a quick "drink" but then they quickly find something better to do.  LOL

I was out filling my bird feeders and having it out with God. The great thing about God, well, one of the many great things, is that He isn't offended by my rantings or spiralings or yelling or ridiculous sounding whining. And I was doing all of that with Him....."what do you want from me?"  "why can't I hear you talking to me?"  "why are you so silent?"  And all I hear is the crunch of the really really cold snow and myself breathing because of how out of shape I am and how much I'm walking with my bird feeder filling. And it really isn't that much walking - it's just that I'm so out of shape.  And then without much fanfare at all, I hear God saying, "what was the last thing I told you to do"?  But that was MOOOONTHS  ago is what I breathed back to Him. And once again He's silent.  The last thing that I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, way back in August, was that I needed to rest and give myself the space to become a whole person. Resting my mind, my body, my  heart, and getting healed and whole in all areas. But haven't I rested enough?  Am I not getting lazy?  Isn't it time to get up and finally do something productive?

That very afternoon, I meet with a dear friend of mine whose mother has just passed away. She had asked me if I would cater a light lunch for the family after the grave side service. I was all over that. We talked about a good many things. And after a few hours, we went our separate ways. I went to the store to gather the items for making the lunch. All the while, I'm realizing that  my heart is opening up, that I've stopped whining, that I'm actually joyful.

After my dearest darling husband gets home from work - I tell him the story of the the hospital and then I also tell him of my meeting with my friend and the lunch and all that I'm making and how my mom is still in town and she's going to help me and my sister is coming to chop vegetables for me.
He proceeds to tell me that he thinks I just need to take it slow and not rush into anything. Take the time that's needed to figure out what it is that I want to do, that God wants me to do.  And then, he tells me that he just received a substantial raise at his job. WHAT????  WOW!!!!!

The morning of the funeral, my sister, my mom and I are prepping the food and talking and all the while, I realize this is what my heart really wants to do. Small, community, ministry, homemade, real stuff. Mom and I take the food and serve it and mingle with the family. My heart is over the top - this is what it's all about. Connecting with people and ministering to them over food that is made with love and care.

My mind is racing and finally connecting with my heart. My heart is opening to all of the ideas that I have and not had the time and space to truly think it all through. I have a heart and a passion to teach people how to cook wholesome, healthy, homemade and inexpensive meals for themselves and families. I have a heart and a passion for those who are struggling to make ends meet in our community. I have a heart and a passion to offer my services to make meals for those families, elderly, single parents who have no desire to cook or have no time to cook or who are not able to cook for themselves. I have a heart and a passion to utilize community growers and farmers. I want to see people come in and either fix themselves a meal for free or for $ to take a meal to go to fix at home with clear instructions or just to throw something into the microwave that's already been cooked. Or to share an experience with friends and/or family over fixing a good meal and then sharing it together.

"Rainy Day Meals" - I love rainy days. There are always days where nothing ever goes right, there are days when all you want to do is come home and curl up and not move except to get something out of the freezer and in to the oven. And know that whatever you are eating - will be healthy, made with love, wholesome and downright tasty!

So.....what's next????  Stay tuned...........All I know is that good things happen around food.  And I need to continue to rest, to get my body, heart and mind healthy - and that is where the adventure is for me. I do know for sure that all this stirring up of my heart is part of the healthy restful journey that I'm on.